We all remember that scene in Parent Trap where Lindsey Lohan is calling her twin Hallie in London and has to lie and say she is calling her friend from camp who is on vacation in Bora Bora.
If you don’t remember that moment of Hollywood gold then leave your office right this moment and seek out a Blockbuster rental shop (I heard a rumour there is still one in Swindon) and get The Parent Trap. You won’t regret it.
But despite being a Lohan veteran I was still looking at my itinerary and wondering – where exactly is the island of Bora Bora? And how far away is this place that it’s a legit excuse for a late night call from California?
Well let me tell you, Bora Bora is as far from London as you can possibly travel – 36 hours away to be precise – thank god someone else was paying for business class seats because what I lack in leg length I make up for in anxiety about DVT and my legs falling off on planes.
French Polynesia is without a doubt the most exotic place I have ever been in my life and I was completely determined to find the best beach in Bora Bora – although FYI this place is also the world’s largest shark sanctuary so you might want to keep your eyes peeled…
But that shouldn’t be an issue because the water is so crystal clear you can just about see every grain of sand on the seabed.
I thoroughly recommend getting an overwater villa if you visit French Polynesia as there is nothing like being suspended in an overwater villa to make you feel like Kim Kardashian about to lose a diamond earring in the sea.
Obviously there are hundreds of Polynesian islands (too many to even begin learning all the names) but holidays to Bora Bora are without a doubt the most popular.
For the cultured foodies among you, you should know you’ll be eating a lot of raw fish (similar to sushi) but more like swordfish and tuna carpaccio and it is so FREAKIN’ delicious.
For those of you who don’t eat fish you might want to pack some sandwiches.
OH and rent a yacht. You’ve come this bloody far, what’s an extra £500 to be the ultimate baller and have your own yacht?