We Need To Talk


Whenever I’m going through a particularly down patch, I feel the need to take to social media.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who feels a compulsion to use their 140 Twitter characters every time you thought you had milk in the fridge and actually it seems like you’ll be having dry Cheerios for breakfast again.

Although this is one of the biggest #firstworldproblems to date.

But our culture of the chronic over-share is no longer just with regards to the positive aspects.

You know, the never-ending Instagram flow of annoyingly inaccessible coffee shops, Gucci handbags and that trip to the other end of the earth you’d sell your first born to even get a glimpse into.

The overshare no longer knows boundaries.

Oversharing of personal problems, of moments of sadness and pain and triviality have crept their way in there too.

Penetrating all our lives even when you think you’re immune. And don’t be fooled t’s not just the narcissistic or celebrities who feel the need to air their dirty laundry online.

I’ve lost count of the number of bloggers who have felt the need to ‘explain themselves’ to their followers when they’re going through a break up.

Not in terms of why they’re absent online whilst they watch Marley & Me, set up their Tinder account and eat their weight in Lindt truffles, but why their partner won’t be popping up in as many selfies anymore.

Why do these people feel they have to share that? Is it because their fans expect that from them? That type of loyalty and false closeness that only the internet can breed.

Is it because we feel like everyone is interested?

Going through my own period of introspection and difficulties, the compulsion I feel to expose all online, to let everyone know what’s happening seems to come less from a place of naive belief that everyone is hooked to my life like it’s staring Tom Hiddleston as the lead role.

But more from a place of genuine hope that it will reach out to a community of women.

The women who in days past we would have had sleepovers with and told them all about that guy at the school disco who was SO into your Juicy Couture lipgloss but already had a girlfriend in the other class.

This online overshare for me would be a way of getting that reassurance from a new type of friend.

A friend who can leave a comment of reassurance or empathy, the virtual awkward hug, but remains enough at arms length because of their anonymity.

The online overshare gives us the reassurance that we’re not complete fuck ups and it will all sort itself out, without actually have to tell anyone face to face.

To have those moments of relief and compassion without seeing everyone talking about it in the playground at school the next day.

After all, as women I don’t feel like we pursue the overshare of our personal lives to get answers, we just want empathy in times of hardship.

Or alternatively, just someone to pass you the next glass of wine.

Do you think you overshare online? 

  • An interesting post! I try my best not to ‘overshare’, but who knows. I think my husband feels like I do sometimes!

    • Hahaha you and me both!! Men don’t even overshare face-to-face with their friends though so it’s hard to compare :)xxx

  • Anastasia

    Remember these times when we were children and had a diary to write everything down? Would we ever show this to anyone? No way!
    Well times have changed and today not only people like to show every aspect of their life but they think it is insane if they dont!
    Sometimes I am guilty myself but at least I try to differentiate blog life to real life and have some privacy.
    I loved this article!



    • Thanks so much Anastasia! So glad you enjoyed it. I completely agree we sometimes forget to keep private life as private as it should be. I wish I could read some of my old diaries but it would be so cringey!! xxx

  • Cara E

    I relate to this a lot, I have a tendency to tweet my feelings without thinking about it first haha. But I think in a way it can be good, I suffer anxiety and sometimes having someone there to reply makes all the difference xx

    • I completley agree with this!! I don’t know what I would do without an outlet online anymore.glad you could relate!!xx

  • I keep a journal whenever I have more emotions than I can even say! Everyone just needs to vent sometimes and that’s okay! :) x
    X Kenzie

    • Yes that is such a good idea! think I might get my old one out & start over :)