19 Stages Of Transitioning to Adulthood

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I could have sworn I’d already written this post. In my head this was definitely written. Perhaps it’s because this transition  is something that occupies 95% of my brain capacity every single damn day.

Alas a look through my archives reveals it is yet to be written. As noughties icon Natasha Bedingfield said – the rest is still unwritten (Does this give anyone else a pang of The Hills early days sadness? Oh Lauren and Audrina <3 <3 <3). What a time to be alive.

Now I don’t know about you, but as I approach my quarter-century I feel like I technically qualify as an adult. I pay taxes. I have a job. I spend weekends at IKEA for god’s sake.

But I’d be lying if I said I’m fully there. I feel like a fraud. I’m the embodiment of faking it till I make it. Some days I spend all day in my adult job, having meetings, changing the toner in the photocopier and talking to Alan from Accounts about my p45 then I’ll go home and eat a Twirl for dinner.

1.Spending all your money on luxurious eye creams crafted like spun silk that you can only buy at the cosmetics counter in Selfridges. Still wearing Boots £2.99 eyeliner on top.

2. Researching ISAs and Help To Buy Schemes. Weighing up the pros and cons of a pension scheme and how much I need to save to get a mortgage. I don’t need to buy food for the next ten years really… do I?

3.  Want to set fire to my own face/the London housing market and decide to spend all my savings on mini-breaks to Ibiza and McDonalds hash browns instead.

4. Paying for a gym membership and turning up so regularly you’re on first name terms with the Pilates instructor.

5.  Returning from the gym and eating smiley faces and a beige buffet for dinner three nights in a row.

6. Going for smear tests, considering the long term effects of the pill on my wilting ovaries, investing in a fertility chart and looking up baby names.

7. Remembering I still can’t work the Nespresso machine and decide a child isn’t safe in my care. Best stick with a puppy.

8. Wanting a long term relationship, someone to share Netflix passwords with and someone to eat the huge amount of pasta you insist on cooking because you still can’t work out portion control.

9.  Deciding to just become a master of Tinder instead and keep a long-term relationship with prosecco. That baby don’t even forget to buy you flowers on Valentines Day.

10. Buying house plants and flowers for yourself because you’re a queen and you deserve an abundance of flora and fauna in your personal space.

11. Flicking between a documentary about global warming and informed discussions to a Harry Potter marathon and building a duvet castle.

12. Still not having mastered making your money last until pay day. What is this wizardry and who can teach me how?

13. Wondering why the government hasn’t given you lessons (or at least a pamphlet) on how to not be a fuck up. I thought school was meant to be the hardest part.

14. Remembering to buy birthday, Christmas and other-special-occassion cards. I’m even big enough to buy my own wrapping paper now and not just steal it from other people to construct a patchwork quilt.

15. Still forgetting the date of the birthday itself.

16. Making restaurant reservations and dinner dates with friends because you need to chat politics and BBC news and where can I buy a hat like Jeremy Corbyn’s?

17. Getting too drunk before you’ve ordered any food and deciding to go and sing karaoke instead. Lucky Voice you give me the lungs of Adele.

18. Deciding to go home before midnight because girl is savvy and needs to get eight hours sleep a night to function.

19. Falling asleep on the night bus and waking up in Croydon. SOMEBODY HELP ME.

Jacket – Topshop

Shirt – COS

Trousers – &OtherStories

Sunglasses – RayBan

Shoes – COS (ASOS cheaper pair here)

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  • Hahaha! This made me laugh so much! All of these are true! The eye cream one is me with my cheep eyeliner!

    Fix Me In Forty Five – A Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

    Blog Lovin’ // Instagram

    xx

    • Glad I’m not the only one Stacey!! We can be fake adults together. Glad you enjoyed reading xxxx

  • Literally LOL-ing all over the place at this. x
    Sophie Cliff

    • MY LIFE IS A MESS helppppppp xxx

  • This is so true. Trying to master adulthood is so often a precarious balancing act of being super sensible and then oops, spent all my money on G&Ts. We’ll get there in the end…

    Rachel | http://www.currentlyrachel.com

    • Oh Rachel I’m so glad i’m not the only one!! Lets’ just be fake adults together. I could definitley do with a G&T xx

  • The pasta control thing is an issue I have a lot. I don’t think I will ever get the hang of it, no matter my age. It’s impossible! LOVE your outfit too lovely lady! xxx

    Shot From The Street

    • Come and eat all the pasta with me? Harry can come too as long as he likes pasta….

  • Loved this whole post, you’re so witty! I can’t say I’m quite at the stage where I go home before 12, haha I go out at around 11 and come home around 5! :)
    http://cherieedle.blogspot.co.uk/2016/02/shaggy.html

    • I am a grandma compared to you girl. ALSO thanks for the lovely comment – glad you enjoyed! xxx

  • *sings along with you* ‘Live your life with arms wide open, today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwrittennnnn’ – those were the days! :'(
    I might just re watch all the hills as a means to kid myself into thinking I’m not transitioning into adulthood (when intact I am).

    Point 12 – How?! Who?!! I don’t get itttt, someone help me!

    Point 18 – We can be grandmas together!

    Excellent post xxx

    • Come to London and we can be grandmas and spend all our cash on unnecessary cashmere purchases xxxxxx

  • hahaha this is seriously so on point! I am married now so my friends all seem to think that that somehow makes me responsible now…yet last Tuesday my husband and I stayed up till 1am getting drunk and playing a never-ending game of Uno. …also, we still don’t have the right portion control with making pasta…not sure we ever will!
    xx Annie
    http://www.somethingswellblog.com/

    • ahahahahah I would love to be married to someone who wants to play Uno and get drunk. Great husband choice Annie xxx

  • I’m totally not fully acquainted with this whole adulating thing, but I got so excited earlier when I remembered to buy my sister’s birthday presents AND wrapping paper and a card! But yes, I definitely still fall asleep on the night bus almost every single time…oops!

    I loved this post – you’re writing style is so engaging and you really made me giggle.

    Bethany | Curly and Wordy

    • Hahahah aww Bethany thanks for leaving such a lovely comment! So glad you enjoyed it xxxx

  • Emily

    Ah I absolutely love this post! I have a mortgage and a boyfriend and dog yet I still feel like I’m a child waiting for someone to whisk me away! It’s bloody hard being an adult!

    Musings & More

    • Hahahah see you are completely succeeding at being an adult Emily!!xxx

  • Kirsty

    This post is so right! Absolutely loved reading it. Pasta portion control? I can’t imagine myself ever working that one out. I’ve only just found your blog as I’m starting my own one and you’ve inspired me to do more. Thanks so much!

    https://theressomethingaboutblog.wordpress.com/

    • Hey Kirsty sorry I’ve only just seen your comment!! I’m so glad I’ve inspired you to do more blogging – it is such a rewarding thing to do :) enjoy! And make sure to send me some links xxx