Rather disappointingly in recent weeks I’ve begun to wonder whether this is the end of my blogging life.
Whether I should pack away the WordPress, stop devoting time to it and resign it to the ‘it was fun while it lasted’ filing cabinet (also filled with things I miss less, ex-boyfriends, exams and pre-25-years-old hangovers).
They (internet forums and someone’s grandma) always say about relationships, once you’ve started questioning whether you should be in it, it’s basically the beginning of the end anyway.
Of course when you find yourself questioning whether to draw a line under something, you think about why you first began it and whether it’s fulfilled that purpose.
For me, when I truly began blogging (as in full time rather than just passively curtain-twitching from the sidelines reading everyone elses and actually contributing) was little over a year ago.
Although it might not sound like long I was at a completely different stage of my life, living abroad, away from the home, the culture and the hobbies I loved, and away from the job I wanted to be doing.
My blog was my little way of having a piece of independence, teaching myself new skills, meeting new friends and the ultimate expression of British me, a slice of the life I wanted in my world which felt very distant from home.
Blogging really threw me a lifeline when I needed one.
But that is no longer the case. I am now doing a job I love and fully immersed in the culture, experiences and the people that I longed for so much.
So in that way, do I need blogging anymore?
Also as a consequence of being home and having all these things spare time is no longer exactly throwing itself about waiting to be filled and as such I keep seeing writing posts as a chore that needs to be completed. And if ship is sinking I want to at least have the decency to dump it face to face rather than via Skype (we don’t want anything else in that filing cabinet with that ending thanks boyfriend of 2007).
But perhaps this is a blip? Perhaps I’ll change my mind and come March I’ll long for my platform to rant and speak in incoherent sentences and pose like I’m Gigi Hadid again.
Or maybe it’s outlived it’s purposed. Served it’s dues and time to move on?
I know I wouldn’t ever want this to be my full-time job either, I’m too much of a sucker for office gossip and would eat my body weight in mince pies if left alone at home, so it’s easy to ask long-term what’s the point? Where is this all leading?
But I have undoubtedly had so many experiences that I am under no illusion, would never have happened without this little domain. Perhaps even my job now wouldn’t have been so tangible without this platform. It’s easy to dismiss it when it doesn’t feel necessary right now, but perhaps I would ultimately be doing all my hard work a disservice.
So, really, it’s not you blog, it’s me. But perhaps it’s time we both moved on with our lives?